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faulty landscape

by Ermine Coat

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1.
It feels so good; it feels so right. Your brother’s seen me naked twice. We're always at home, always surprised; I read your thoughts, you read my spine. How much closer can we get? I was standing; you were there. I hear life insurance jingles when I’m breathing in your hair. I want a cat, I want a dog, to know the things that you don’t tell your blog. I know your footsteps like my own, saved your mother’s number in my phone. Don’t know about our super plans, I put my living in your hands. How much closer can we get?
2.
I don’t think you like me; no, I don’t think you do. I was hiding in the supermarket thinking (re:) them and you. & when we were talking, we were both talking to our shoes. Because: I admired them, you admired them, and then we looked at each other. It felt like the last scene in Easy Rider. I don’t think I like you; I mean, I’m never really sure if I do. I mean I like you, but I find all these excuses never to?!?! Like, I understand nostalgia, but you actually defended Rove Live? See, every time I think about you every sentence always starts with ‘I’. I, I, I, Because: I admired them, you admired them, and then we looked at each other. It felt like the last scene in Easy Rider.
3.
Parking Lots 02:22
Parking Lots We were snorting dexies with a Myki off the washing machine, feeling suddenly connected to our talents. The only song we knew by Biz Markie played (the kitchen: ‘like a peloton in Paris’). Suddenly, I saw my life was still up to me; I was chopping up some carrots. & I just want to talk about it with Patrick, and Marnie, and Alice. We were drinking Carlton Draughts & hoping for a breeze, before we started calling it a habit. “You can Tinder, you can Grindr, but you’ll never ever find ‘em,” you were saying as you started losing balance. You made me feel like my whole life was still up to me (there are so many bloody spiders in this garret). & I just want to talk about it with Patrick, and Marnie, and Alice. We were trying to keep a leash on all the thoughts in our brains, patrolling the perimeter for malice. (I don’t know why we go to parties just to hang out in the corner - we could do this in the parking lot at Maccas.) And in the drive-through I saw my whole life was still up to me; this was was my franchise to manage. & I just want to talk about it with Patrick, and Marnie, and Alice.
4.
Rent Network 03:36
there’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry i haven’t watched you eat for days we used to live shoulder to shoulder now i’m just a stop on your way i want to be kept in your pocket i want to be the one you whisper to there’s food in the fridge if you’re hungry i got used to cooking for two so stranger, how are you doing how was your group interview oh i didn’t know that you got the job how much are they paying you? i want to be kept in your pocket but a hole keeps wearing through and they're opening an office in sydney i guess that sounds like good news we might still watch tv in the evenings but you go back to your room and i go to mine we used to take each other's clothes off but now i just watch yours on the line i want to be kept in your pocket but you let me fall behind once i lay awake to hear you breathing but now its just your footsteps on the drive and i just don't know what to do
5.
WA inc. 03:07
I went to your party as Kurt Cobain; (you told me just to come as I was). And in the kitchen introductions were made: I’d never ever seen the world so close before. And now I get so ambitious around you, I (1) get so bent out of shape. (2) feel like a tiny bird pecking hopefully at a frozen lake. You were talking about things that I couldn’t pronounce (I’d only read the words before). And I can’t even think about the suburb I live in (you don’t ask about it anymore). (3) get so ambitious around you; (4) want to be all unfurled. Is this going to be like a) Charles and Camilla or b) the last few pages of Ghost World? I want my Audi to have a Lexus. I’ve bit my finger nails clean through. I’m living (baby) in dread and hope, for when you want something done for you. (5) get so ambitious around you. (6) feel like I’m going to burst. (7) feel disgusting (8)’ve got more ideas than there are DJs living in Melbourne. I want to know where all the bodies are buried and I want to know how to bury some more. I used to want to disappear into someone, but now I want to make them all eat off the floor. (9) get so ambitious around you; (10) just want to find a way in. (11) keep looking over every shoulder (watching the world from a playground swing. See, I get so ambitious around you –
6.
It’s always 3am; & you’re watching the ceiling again. The one here beside you might never deny you, but no one’s asking the right questions. Do you want someone who’s never so mean, someone who notices everything, someone who knows the difference between the members of the Go-Betweens? Do you want someone who cares enough to get mad, someone to bury your dad, someone with a jingle in their pocket as they’re hailing you down a cab? And all these things are so easily said (when all that you’re getting instead), is someone curled up like a question mark on the pillow on your bed.
7.
Bye, Baby 03:18
When we were younger (not much younger than today), we both needed so much help in really every single way. I wanted to impress you, I googled everything you said. I mean, I really wished you liked me, man; (I wish I didn’t have to guess). I thought, you could be my mate, you could be the Knox to my Bathgate. You could go knocking all the walls down, and I’d just stumble in your wake. But I was holding on too tightly, and you were holding too well, hey. We were taking everything, but never knew what we could take. Because: holding on to someone, or holding on to something, when you’re trying just to hold on to yourself: I put my claws in so tightly I don’t want to have them anymore, but I feel yours all over me as well. In my head I’m in your car; in my head I’m always in your car. We used to go abandoned houses and make out by all the glass. You taught me how to steal from self-serve checkouts (swipe brown onions for everything). When you got out of observation, we’d go get onion rings. We used to tell each other all the things we thought we liked; we used to make each other say the things we’d ‘like to try tonight. We kept pushing at the space between we thought that we could budge; we typed words into each other, but did we ever really touch? Because: holding on to someone, or holding on to something, when you’re trying just to hold on to yourself: I put my claws in so tightly I don’t want to leave the house now anymore, but I feel your fingerprints all inside me as well. Oh ho, oh ho, oh ho, oh…
8.
Yes: it’s election week, and I have got messed up priorities. I want to think about Big Issues, but I’m shaking like these. I can’t walk to the bus from here, I am still too pissed to go. I’d like to tell this all in detail but I don’t remember or know. Oh Jesus fucking Christ, oh god oh no. I get on, I miss my stop, I need to leave but I’m too scared to get off. You’ve got to earn before you learn, you’ve got to burn x3. Everyone here at the Bottle-O on first name terms. We aren’t talking about it; we are pissed watching Vines. I’ve got the greatest view from here now that I’m totally blind. And when you said that you wanted to go and drink down by the river, when we were whispering phone to phone, would we have gone if we were going alone? Is there a way to reset this bone? You’re getting terrified of shadows and your muscles feel weak. You only found me last night after I’d passed out in the street. And everything I touch these days just smells like Coopers Red. I can’t find any other way in or out of my head. And I don’t remember where I am even when I wake up in my bed. (I’m disgusting, I’m vain and dead, I was drunk at work each day but no-one said!) And I was starting at 7am. (I go to lunch, it’s on my breath, I feel post-death, I have to check if I threw up in the garden again.) And when you said that you wanted to go and drink down by the river, when we were whispering phone to phone, would you have gone if you were going alone? Is there a way to reset this bone? See, I could never (ever ever) take you to a funeral.
9.
some bodies you forget some never living yet he or she she or he he or they and with our blood we tied a knot it grew much thicker than we thought he or she she or he he or they i had to take a phone call by the side of the road i was hoping to be alone i had to take a phone call by the side of the road i was pretending to be on the phone
10.
Here it comes, the fourth, the fifth; the minor fall, the major lift. He knows it could never get better than this: he turns his vocals up in the mix. Paula’s gone, he wants her back. He’s throwing everything into the double track. He’ll do another take once he’s shooed out the chicks; he turns his vocals up in the mix It has to be perfect, it has to be real; he has to sound exactly how he’s meant to feel. The engineer is bored (queueing up Netflix): he turns his vocals up in the mix. Oh, Gentlemen, Here, My Dear, Wee Small Hours, Shoot Out the Lights, Rumours, Blood on the Tracks. There’s always blood on the tracks. He is making phone calls, he’s on the line. He’s telling everyone this’ll be for all time; another skip bin all lined with sick. He turns his vocals up in the mix. Even if it’s not meant, it still could become true. 50 million Elvis fans, and only one you. They sing it from Outer Paris to Kenwick; he turns his vocals up in the mix. Oh, Gentlemen, Here, My Dear, Wee Small Hours, Shoot Out the Lights, Rumours, Blood on the Tracks. There’s always blood on the tracks.

about

third ermine coat album. ten songs about invisible love triangles, robin thicke and fridges.

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released March 1, 2016

Recorded at Charles Mansion 6050 & Errol St 3051 October 2014-Feb 2015, on Noongar and Wurundjeri land.

this is a Workplace Safety CDRs release. WSC007

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Ermine Coat Melbourne, Florida

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